Thursday, 18 September 2008

Do Hard Things

I'd love to read "Do Hard Things" by Alex and Brett Harris. The book club that I'm in, was going to be doing it as our next book, but unfortunately Felicity (my youth pastor's wife) couldn't get enough copies to do it this time round.
My sister Kristy, reviewed it here.

However, that's not the point of this post. See, the thing is, I avoid doing hard things as much as I can. Confrontation, meeting someone new, doing something very different from what I'm used to, those things scare me to death.
I'm (slowly) trying to work on it, but it's gonna be a long process because I've been this way for a VERY long time.
On Monday, though, I did something hard. My parents had been telling me for awhile that I needed to do it, and lately I'd begun listening to God telling me to do the same thing. I wrote in my testimony that I hadn't wanted to give God all of me because I wanted to still be in control of certain aspects of my life. This was the biggest one. On Sunday night I gave God all of me. On Monday morning I did what would have to be one of the hardest things I've done.

My prayer (one of them anyway) at the moment is that 'All things will work together for good to them that love the Lord'*
I'm actually quite nervous about this because I have no idea how it's going.
All I want is for God's will to be done. Unfortunately, it's not easy.

Please pray for God's peace in this.
Also, please pray that I will leave it in God's hands, and not grab it back into my own.

*This verse was paraphrased

Tuesday, 16 September 2008

My testimony (sorta)

Sunday night we had a youth service. It was the first youth service that the youth band has played in since April. I think we did a very good job! Once the service had started, it went really well.
I had been asked to give a testimony, and I thought I'd share it on here as well.

Here it is:

I gave my testimony last year at the youth service after youth camp. I talked about how I was having regular Bible studies and memorizing Bible verses and how this was helping me grow closer to God.

However, this year I’ve really been struggling. I’ve felt like God has been far, far away. Like I can’t get close to Him, no matter how hard I try. Then I was reading a book called ‘Lies Young Women Believe’, and one of the lies that they mentioned was that ‘God is not enough.’ I immediately thought ‘I don’t believe that! I know God’s enough! I’ve been taught that my whole life!’
Then the author went on to say that she used to look to friends to fill the emotional void inside of her, and it took some time for her to grasp the basic Truth that God IS enough.
That made me stop and think. And when I stopped to think about it, I realized that I believed that Lie. For quite some time I’ve been asking God to ‘create a void inside of my friends that only You can fill so that they grow closer to You.’
However, what I hadn’t realized is that I have a void inside of ME that only God can fill.

That amazed and freaked me out! And when I looked back over this year, I realized that this year especially, I’ve been turning to my friends more and more to fill the loneliness inside of me. I rationalized it as “I’m very much a people person”.
Which I am, but I’ve gotten to the point where, when I have the house to myself for whatever reason, instead of embracing the quiet and spending that time alone with God, I fill up the quiet with noise and try to find friends that I can go see, or talk to.

After I stopped to think about it, I realized that no matter what I try to fill the void with, it’s never going to be filled by anything other than God.

Also, this year I’ve been struggling with some things, and instead of praying ‘Lord, please show me what you’re trying to teach me through this’, more often I’m praying ‘Why do I have to deal with this? Why can’t you deal with this for me?’
I realized my focus is always about me. However, it should be about God, and what He can do with me.

I tell myself that I’m trying to draw near to God, but there are parts of my life that I’m reluctant to let Him into, because I don’t want to hear what He has to say about it. But God wants to be my closest confidante. He wants to meet all my needs. I am valuable to god, and He cares about the minute details of my life. If I draw near to Him, and allow Him access into all parts of my life, He will draw near to me.

My prayer for this year is that God will fill my life with His presence, and that I will be able to give Him access into all parts of my life. I want to be able to say truthfully: “Whom have I in Heaven besides you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you”

Tuesday, 2 September 2008

Well, howdy!

Well, it's been awhile since I last posted, and it was awhile ago that I posted before that!
I'm really sorry. I've been wanting to write, but I just feel like I've got nothing to write.
However, I thought I'd give you an update on what's been happening.

TAFE is going really well. I've made a few friends, and although their language isn't the best, I've persuaded at least one of them to be careful about what they're saying :)
I had been handed an assessment (like a test) last week, and I had told myself that I would do it before I came this week so that I could get onto the next section of theory. However, I put it off on Wednesday, and worked all day Thursday, and forgot about it until last night. So, at 10 o'clock last night, I was just about to go to bed ..... and then I realized "Oh no! I haven't done the assessment!" So, I grabbed it out of my backpack, and was about to head out to the kitchen when Joe walks in and says "Can you check my tests?". Talk about it never raining, but pouring! I told him to ask Lisa to do it, and so while I was doing my assessment, Lisa was sitting next to me asking me "How do I score this? Do I take off 1 point, or 1/2 a point?" The really funny thing is that she talks while she's doing things (like me :P) in order to figure things out. So, she's sitting there going "So, 2+2+1+1/2.....", and I'm going "Lisa, please be quiet. I can't concentrate." So she quiets down. Five minutes later "1+2+1/2...."
Anyway, to cut a long story short, she finished scoring the tests, I finished my assessment, and headed to bed.
This morning I handed it in, and I found out this afternoon that I passed it!

In other news, Joe had an earache this morning, and because Mum's away, I had to administer the onion juice! This is the first time I've done it, and apparently I didn't heat the spoon up enough. It was cold when it went into his ear, and he made a face (embarassing :P)

I'm hoping that this week will go well. It started out not-so-great, but has gotten better. So, I'm hoping it continues to get even better!